‘Anti-Purity Culture’ is also an error

Why Christians need to rediscover atonement

In the 90s-00s, there was a phenomenon known as purity culture.

It was most prominent in evangelical circles, but had an expression Catholic circles too. The vast majority of preaching directed at Christian kids aged 13-18 was focused on exhortations not to break sexual ethics.

Most Christians hate it now.

But we swung too far in the other direction.

Now, we have an “Anti-Purity Culture” where we pretend the consequences of sexual sins don't exist.

From Purity Culture to Anti-Purity Culture

There were excesses in Purity Culture.

Pastors and parents operated out of fear that these young kids would make life-altering mistakes and used scare tactics to prevent it. To name a few:

1. The Toothpaste Analogy — You can’t put it back in!

2. Spitting in the Cup — Who would want to drink out of a cup 10 people spit into?

3. The Mangled Rose — After being touched by everyone, the rose loses its petals.

These were clumsy attempts to illustrate a point: if you use something incorrectly or too many times, it gets damaged

These analogies erred because they imply sexual sins can never be fixed (or worse, never forgiven!) Kids who crossed the line were then tempted to think, “Well, I’m too far gone. Why stop now?”

In that way, those analogies failed.

However, those analogies were right in that sexual sin does follow you. It can even damage you.

So while the excesses and errors of purity culture should be acknowledged, we should not swing to the other extreme. Which many have done.

What we see now is the rise of “Anti-Purity Culture.”

Avoid the two extremes

In American Christianity, there is a tendency to struggle with equilibrium.

We oscillate between two extremes:

1. Certain sins are unforgivable (the error of purity culture)

2. Sins have no temporal consequences whatsoever. (the error of anti-purity culture

Catholics need to find the balance between the two.

This is at the top of my mind because a Christian pastor recently posted a long thread on X about how his wife used to be promiscuous. He claimed that even now—because she has been born again through Christ—she is “purer than most virgins.”

This made people angry.

The claim seemed to be that since the repentance happened, she is better off than someone who never committed that sin in the first place. This is not how Christians should see sin. Her persistent sin created habits she needs to get rid of; their marriage has obstacles that marriages between virgins do not have to overcome, etc.

Ignoring these challenges ignores the real temporal effects of sin.

This reaction is a direct result of anti-purity culture. We are so afraid of returning to the bad old days of relentless shaming for sexual sin that we are terrified to suggest that someone should face even temporary consequences for their sexual sin.

But this “no consequences” view is not Christian.

How the saints saw their sin

The Christian understanding is that sin has both eternal and temporal consequences.

Forgiveness removes the eternal consequence (hell) but not the temporal consequences. (That’s why we don’t let murderers out of prison if they go to confession.)

Certain sins are mortal. Sex outside of marriage—especially serial sex outside of marriage—is a mortal sin. It earns you hell. That is just true; that isn’t “purity culture.”

Now, that mortal sin can be forgiven. Your guilt and the stain of sin can be wiped away. And yet, the effects of the sin remain. The temporal punishment (vice, damaged relationships, etc.) earned by your sin remains.

This is the main basis for the Catholic understanding of Purgatory.

For no other foundation can any one lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any one builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble—each man’s work will become manifest; for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work which any man has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If any man’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire. 1 Corinthians 3:11-15

The saints understood their houses were built with gold (God’s forgiveness) and straw (their sins). That straw will be burned away, whether in this world or the next.

Saints decide to have that straw purged in this world.

For example, Mary Magdalene, who is traditionally understood to be the woman caught in adultery, spends the rest of her life doing penance alone in the woods to undo the sin she committed.

Or Mary of Egypt, who lived a life of promiscuity (among pilgrims to the Holy Land no less!) After converting in the Holy Sepulcher, she lived in the desert as a hermit doing reparations for her past life. She was forgiven, but she did penance for her past.

Even though the sin was forgiven, both felt they owed God something in response to that forgiveness.

We have forgotten how to atone

Too many Christians act like forgiveness is the last step. They believe you can just go on living as if the sin never happened.

That is false.

When my son throws a book and hits his sister, he says he is sorry. But he still has to do something to atone for that sin.

Similarly, when you sleep with countless men, you need to do something to atone. You cannot demand that the world go on as if you did not do those things. You cannot pretend you don’t have the effects of that sin lingering, or that you don’t owe God anything besides a quick, “My bad.”

Even Catholics tend to treat confession like a vending machine. We feel “icky” that we did a bad thing, so we go to confession—or if you are Protestant, you confess to God alone in your room—and we assume, “I am going to be fine. I am not guilty anymore.”

But we have forgotten that even though the guilt is gone, the effects of sin remain.

The more you sleep around, the more you have the vice of promiscuity ingrained in your soul. You need to atone to get rid of that vice.

More importantly—and this one gets missed a lot—we need to make reparations because our sin makes God sad!

Even though He has forgiven us. He still suffers when He sees us sin, and we ought to desire to console His heart.

Again, think of my son when he hits his sister. If he were truly sorry, he wouldn’t immediately go ask for ice cream. If you were a kid who hit his sister and you were truly penitent, you would not demand a reward. You would say, like the Prodigal Son: “Father, I don’t deserve anything. I have sinned against heaven and against you. Treat me as your hired servant.”

That is atonement.

When we only present the sin and the forgiveness, but we fail to present the atonement, we are presenting an incomplete picture of the Christian life.

We all owe reparations

I want to make this clear: I am not saying this to be high and mighty. I write this because I think we’ve forgotten what atonement actually is.

We ought to want to console the heart of Jesus and offer reparations for our own sins and the sins of others.

I hope that Christians will rediscover this truth about our sin and commit to fasting and prayer for atonement, especially poignant as we approach Holy Week.

St. Mary Magdalen and St. Mary of Egypt, pray for us.

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