That logic is a little too close to the "priests touch children because they're celibate, so celibacy is the problem" line of thinking for my liking. "If my wife was hotter and more open to my sexual whims, I wouldn't watch porn." I can't imagine any man with a shred of respect for his wife would say that to her
As a recovered sex lust porn addict, I can totally agree with your assessment. It's right on the money. Pope John Paul's Love and Responsibility provides much-needed light on the subject.
"Pornography is about gorging yourself on visual stimulation." I'd would go a bit deeper and suggest that the addiction is more about the neurochemistry produced by the interaction with images...dopamine, adrenaline, epinephrine, serotonin, etc. The same chemicals are produced by real sex and other process addictions like gambling.
Very insightful. I've often thought this line of thinking also neglects the fact that women, especially Gen Z women, struggle with pornography addiction, and framing it in this "have more sex with your husband to fix his addiction" really hammers home the fact that it often feels like there is no place for women struggling with the same problem to go to for support, healing, and redemption.
This is legitimately a very insightful article. From my experience of dealing with this addiction, I had never thought of it this way, but it’s absolutely more accurate to call it gluttony rather than lust. Thank you very much for sharing this; it helps more than you know!
Multiple things can be true at once. Our society has a porn problem, which is not about marital relations at its root, and it also has a lack-of-sex-in-marriage problem, which certainly does exacerbate the porn problem, even if it's not the root of the porn problem.
If a man is earnestly striving to overcome pornography, then feeling desired by his wife will aid him in that endeavor, even though simply being desired by his wife isn't enough alone for him to overcome the addiction, and even though it isn't strictly necessary that he feel desired by her in order for him to overcome it.
Thank you for this! Blaming disordered behavior on a lack of sex is a cop out! It’s actually a demonic ideology, the Lord has given us everything we need to abstain from sin.If you aren’t getting sex that mean you don’t need it to abstain from porn usage.
Good overall criticism of the positions disagreed with, but I disagree with the overall thesis. There is a proper analogy between lust and gluttony, but going beyond an analogy eliminates the important distinctions between the two. Porn has to be about sex to some degree, and sex implicates different parts of the heart and spirit than food and drink. The analogy works in that inordinate desire is never sated by the obtaining of more of the object. But eating and drinking are things we do in the open, without intimacy or sacrament. Sex, hopefully, is not. All sin is banal and similar, but sexual sin is categorically different in some important ways than inordinate appetite for food and drink.
Porn is also a sloth problem. It devalues real relationships and offers a false, selfish alternative to challenging, but ultimately more rewarding and valuable authentic relationships.
That logic is a little too close to the "priests touch children because they're celibate, so celibacy is the problem" line of thinking for my liking. "If my wife was hotter and more open to my sexual whims, I wouldn't watch porn." I can't imagine any man with a shred of respect for his wife would say that to her
It’s very similar
Thank you for that.
“The solution to porn addiction is to blame your wife” — “masculinity” influencers
As a recovered sex lust porn addict, I can totally agree with your assessment. It's right on the money. Pope John Paul's Love and Responsibility provides much-needed light on the subject.
"Pornography is about gorging yourself on visual stimulation." I'd would go a bit deeper and suggest that the addiction is more about the neurochemistry produced by the interaction with images...dopamine, adrenaline, epinephrine, serotonin, etc. The same chemicals are produced by real sex and other process addictions like gambling.
Thanks!
Very insightful. I've often thought this line of thinking also neglects the fact that women, especially Gen Z women, struggle with pornography addiction, and framing it in this "have more sex with your husband to fix his addiction" really hammers home the fact that it often feels like there is no place for women struggling with the same problem to go to for support, healing, and redemption.
This is legitimately a very insightful article. From my experience of dealing with this addiction, I had never thought of it this way, but it’s absolutely more accurate to call it gluttony rather than lust. Thank you very much for sharing this; it helps more than you know!
Thank you that means a lot!
This message needs to be shared more. The masculinity influencers need to be drowned out in this area.
Multiple things can be true at once. Our society has a porn problem, which is not about marital relations at its root, and it also has a lack-of-sex-in-marriage problem, which certainly does exacerbate the porn problem, even if it's not the root of the porn problem.
If a man is earnestly striving to overcome pornography, then feeling desired by his wife will aid him in that endeavor, even though simply being desired by his wife isn't enough alone for him to overcome the addiction, and even though it isn't strictly necessary that he feel desired by her in order for him to overcome it.
Succinct and well put. In just a few minutes you have persuaded me that this is a sin of gluttony and not of lust, great work.
Porn is an “I want something for nothing” problem.
fire post
Had some thoughts recently about Paolo and Francesca which are tangential but related I think: https://harrydagostino.substack.com/p/on-rick-blaine-and-heroic-chastity
Great read, I needed this today.
Check out my latest article here. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
https://substack.com/@chroniclesofacatholicteacher/note/p-183255029?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=6es8n7
Thank you for this! Blaming disordered behavior on a lack of sex is a cop out! It’s actually a demonic ideology, the Lord has given us everything we need to abstain from sin.If you aren’t getting sex that mean you don’t need it to abstain from porn usage.
Good overall criticism of the positions disagreed with, but I disagree with the overall thesis. There is a proper analogy between lust and gluttony, but going beyond an analogy eliminates the important distinctions between the two. Porn has to be about sex to some degree, and sex implicates different parts of the heart and spirit than food and drink. The analogy works in that inordinate desire is never sated by the obtaining of more of the object. But eating and drinking are things we do in the open, without intimacy or sacrament. Sex, hopefully, is not. All sin is banal and similar, but sexual sin is categorically different in some important ways than inordinate appetite for food and drink.
Porn is also a sloth problem. It devalues real relationships and offers a false, selfish alternative to challenging, but ultimately more rewarding and valuable authentic relationships.