That logic is a little too close to the "priests touch children because they're celibate, so celibacy is the problem" line of thinking for my liking. "If my wife was hotter and more open to my sexual whims, I wouldn't watch porn." I can't imagine any man with a shred of respect for his wife would say that to her
As a recovered sex lust porn addict, I can totally agree with your assessment. It's right on the money. Pope John Paul's Love and Responsibility provides much-needed light on the subject.
"Pornography is about gorging yourself on visual stimulation." I'd would go a bit deeper and suggest that the addiction is more about the neurochemistry produced by the interaction with images...dopamine, adrenaline, epinephrine, serotonin, etc. The same chemicals are produced by real sex and other process addictions like gambling.
Oh 100%. The dopamine rush from porn use is stronger then most hard drugs (from what I’ve heard. I will have to do more research to confirm it as factual)
This is legitimately a very insightful article. From my experience of dealing with this addiction, I had never thought of it this way, but it’s absolutely more accurate to call it gluttony rather than lust. Thank you very much for sharing this; it helps more than you know!
Very insightful. I've often thought this line of thinking also neglects the fact that women, especially Gen Z women, struggle with pornography addiction, and framing it in this "have more sex with your husband to fix his addiction" really hammers home the fact that it often feels like there is no place for women struggling with the same problem to go to for support, healing, and redemption.
Multiple things can be true at once. Our society has a porn problem, which is not about marital relations at its root, and it also has a lack-of-sex-in-marriage problem, which certainly does exacerbate the porn problem, even if it's not the root of the porn problem.
If a man is earnestly striving to overcome pornography, then feeling desired by his wife will aid him in that endeavor, even though simply being desired by his wife isn't enough alone for him to overcome the addiction, and even though it isn't strictly necessary that he feel desired by her in order for him to overcome it.
Porn is also a sloth problem. It devalues real relationships and offers a false, selfish alternative to challenging, but ultimately more rewarding and valuable authentic relationships.
Thank you for this! Blaming disordered behavior on a lack of sex is a cop out! It’s actually a demonic ideology, the Lord has given us everything we need to abstain from sin.If you aren’t getting sex that mean you don’t need it to abstain from porn usage.
I mostly agree with your assessment except on 2 points.
I would not call porn addiction an "internal" problem. Porn is by definition an external source of stimulation. Any man telling himself that he doesn't watch porn because he just has more self control, or is holier than a man who does, is a prideful fool who either 1) isn't being exposed to the same triggers as the man who does or 2) has low libido. You say porn is gluttony, not lust. Well, some people are skinny because of medical issues they have that effectively prevent overeating. Or they are a picky eater. Or they cannot afford to overeat. That's where the analogy breaks down. You can workout and manage your diet to avoid gaining weight. You cannot workout or diet your way out of porn.
You don't ever mention the most effective weapon we have against porn. Divine intervention. I was a porn addict from the time I was 12 years old to my late 20s. Every single day. Multiple times per day. I sincerely asked God to set me free and He did. That was the last time I watched porn for over a year. I did eventually relapse, which coincided with a period of doubt in my faith. I had to come back to God for Him to again set me free. And I am still free to this day.
God bless anyone suffering from this horrific drug.
That logic is a little too close to the "priests touch children because they're celibate, so celibacy is the problem" line of thinking for my liking. "If my wife was hotter and more open to my sexual whims, I wouldn't watch porn." I can't imagine any man with a shred of respect for his wife would say that to her
It’s very similar
Thank you for that.
“The solution to porn addiction is to blame your wife” — “masculinity” influencers
As a recovered sex lust porn addict, I can totally agree with your assessment. It's right on the money. Pope John Paul's Love and Responsibility provides much-needed light on the subject.
"Pornography is about gorging yourself on visual stimulation." I'd would go a bit deeper and suggest that the addiction is more about the neurochemistry produced by the interaction with images...dopamine, adrenaline, epinephrine, serotonin, etc. The same chemicals are produced by real sex and other process addictions like gambling.
Oh 100%. The dopamine rush from porn use is stronger then most hard drugs (from what I’ve heard. I will have to do more research to confirm it as factual)
Read Your Brain on Porn.
Thanks!
This is legitimately a very insightful article. From my experience of dealing with this addiction, I had never thought of it this way, but it’s absolutely more accurate to call it gluttony rather than lust. Thank you very much for sharing this; it helps more than you know!
Thank you that means a lot!
Very insightful. I've often thought this line of thinking also neglects the fact that women, especially Gen Z women, struggle with pornography addiction, and framing it in this "have more sex with your husband to fix his addiction" really hammers home the fact that it often feels like there is no place for women struggling with the same problem to go to for support, healing, and redemption.
This message needs to be shared more. The masculinity influencers need to be drowned out in this area.
Multiple things can be true at once. Our society has a porn problem, which is not about marital relations at its root, and it also has a lack-of-sex-in-marriage problem, which certainly does exacerbate the porn problem, even if it's not the root of the porn problem.
If a man is earnestly striving to overcome pornography, then feeling desired by his wife will aid him in that endeavor, even though simply being desired by his wife isn't enough alone for him to overcome the addiction, and even though it isn't strictly necessary that he feel desired by her in order for him to overcome it.
Porn is also a sloth problem. It devalues real relationships and offers a false, selfish alternative to challenging, but ultimately more rewarding and valuable authentic relationships.
Succinct and well put. In just a few minutes you have persuaded me that this is a sin of gluttony and not of lust, great work.
Porn is an “I want something for nothing” problem.
I want something for nothing and I want a lot of it
fire post
Had some thoughts recently about Paolo and Francesca which are tangential but related I think: https://harrydagostino.substack.com/p/on-rick-blaine-and-heroic-chastity
Thank you for this! Blaming disordered behavior on a lack of sex is a cop out! It’s actually a demonic ideology, the Lord has given us everything we need to abstain from sin.If you aren’t getting sex that mean you don’t need it to abstain from porn usage.
Great read, I needed this today.
Check out my latest article here. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
https://substack.com/@chroniclesofacatholicteacher/note/p-183255029?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=6es8n7
I mostly agree with your assessment except on 2 points.
I would not call porn addiction an "internal" problem. Porn is by definition an external source of stimulation. Any man telling himself that he doesn't watch porn because he just has more self control, or is holier than a man who does, is a prideful fool who either 1) isn't being exposed to the same triggers as the man who does or 2) has low libido. You say porn is gluttony, not lust. Well, some people are skinny because of medical issues they have that effectively prevent overeating. Or they are a picky eater. Or they cannot afford to overeat. That's where the analogy breaks down. You can workout and manage your diet to avoid gaining weight. You cannot workout or diet your way out of porn.
You don't ever mention the most effective weapon we have against porn. Divine intervention. I was a porn addict from the time I was 12 years old to my late 20s. Every single day. Multiple times per day. I sincerely asked God to set me free and He did. That was the last time I watched porn for over a year. I did eventually relapse, which coincided with a period of doubt in my faith. I had to come back to God for Him to again set me free. And I am still free to this day.
God bless anyone suffering from this horrific drug.
I agree. Gluttony is distinctly a disorder of the body. Lust is a disorder of the mind.