This text fundamentally misses the point of sexless marriages by reframing the issue in a way that, once again, casts men as the problem and women as passive victims.
It begins with a flawed premise: that the discussion is driven by male influencers claiming that more sex within marriage would solve porn addiction. That is not the central issue in sexless marriages. It’s a distraction.
The real issue is deeper. Due to feminist narratives having become the cultural norm, sex within marriage is no longer widely understood as a mutual duty or a natural part of the marital bond. Instead, it is often treated as optional, conditional, or even burdensome. In practice, it has become standard female behavior to withdraw from sex, reframing refusal not as a problem within the marriage, but as an unquestionable personal right.
This shift has become normalized rather than exceptional. And this dynamic is observable even in Catholic communities, where traditional teachings on marriage would suggest otherwise.
By centering the conversation on porn, the text redirects responsibility toward men and away from this broader relational shift, implying that male desire or excess is the primary force eroding marriages, rather than examining how mutual expectations within marriage have changed.
It removes wives from any moral or relational responsibility.
It treats a marital problem as purely an individual (male) pathology.
It assumes, rather than proves, that porn desire is unrelated to marital deprivation.
It uses oversimplified, unrealistic scenarios to support its claims.
It reduces the issue to “novelty,” ignoring lack of intimacy and accessibility factors.
It (once again, like feminism has been doing for decades) pathologizes male desire while normalizing persistent refusal.
It ignores sexual asymmetry within marriage (who controls access: women).
It attacks a caricature of the opposing argument instead of its strongest form.
It relies on anecdotal authority (“friends in the industry”) instead of evidence.
It frames the problem to lead into a pre-packaged, commercial solution.
This will not help couples, and does not help advance the conversation. I suggest the author gets to know healthy males, and learns how to respect proper male sexuality, and how it has been villainized and attacked relentlessly through recent years.
And to keep things easy, let me tell you from first hand experience: if my wife is having regular sex with me, I don't even think about porn or other women. It never even remotely crosses my mind. A sexless marriage is not natural, and yes, it is the source of the disease.
The post begins with “there is an idea.” It's not trying to encapsulate the whole conversation about sexless marriages, it's trying to get granular about one specific idea within it, without alleging that its a central idea. Could Pat have been more clear about this? Probably. I wish he had been, too, but it is pretty clear already.
Frankly, porn addiction within marriage is one of the few subtopics where this framing is the only valid one.
I (and many like me) get immediately mad about anyone, any text, tweet, or policy that once again tries to point the finger at men.
Enough is enough.
Feminism was the cultural shift, and it completely broke women. They need fixing.
Men are still working hard, still building civilization, still building rockets to the moon. Men are flocking to church, and the stronger ones are fighting feminism head on, while still getting married and having children.
Porn is for losers. Just like proper nutrition is the best way to fight gluttony or junk food craving, the best way to quit porn is focusing that energy into a single woman's pussy, preferably your own wife. Yes, regular sex can solve a man's porn craving.
Your article sucks.
You should be discussing why the "Dead Bedrooms" phenomenon is so relevant these days, and why women think that having married no longer means having to fuck their husband regularly.
The front of your essay says your wife can’t solve the porn craving with sex, and yet a few paragraphs in you say sex a real woman will increase your desire for her (as opposed to porn)
But the second statement seems to imply that more real sex would actually work? Since if sex focuses your desire for her…. Then you’re with her and not horny for porn?
More so it looks like you just believe a wife has a natural expectation for sex in marriage but a husband can’t have the same: so your argument just kind of bounces between the contradiction
I was in a sexless marriage and not because I wanted to be in one. I wanted sex and my husband would pretend to be asleep. My husband had a huge collection of porn magazines he kept in boxes in the basement.
The only way my husband could get it up was to put a porn movie on and some of them were so vile, I felt disgusted. Eventually he raped me in our marriage bed. Some men would scoff that rape in marriage cannot happen, I say when your husband puts you in a position by force and defiles you it is rape. I ran out of my bedroom crying and then I left him.
I was in my thirties in the 1990's. Now I am 68 and I understand pornography so much better. I am a 1970's feminist and I made more money than him. I thought maybe that was the problem. I now know that it was the porn and that he did not find sex with me satisfying.
Thank you so much for writing this and let the men cry and blame women, that is what they do. Porn is destroying men and they live in denial.
This text fundamentally misses the point of sexless marriages by reframing the issue in a way that, once again, casts men as the problem and women as passive victims.
It begins with a flawed premise: that the discussion is driven by male influencers claiming that more sex within marriage would solve porn addiction. That is not the central issue in sexless marriages. It’s a distraction.
The real issue is deeper. Due to feminist narratives having become the cultural norm, sex within marriage is no longer widely understood as a mutual duty or a natural part of the marital bond. Instead, it is often treated as optional, conditional, or even burdensome. In practice, it has become standard female behavior to withdraw from sex, reframing refusal not as a problem within the marriage, but as an unquestionable personal right.
This shift has become normalized rather than exceptional. And this dynamic is observable even in Catholic communities, where traditional teachings on marriage would suggest otherwise.
By centering the conversation on porn, the text redirects responsibility toward men and away from this broader relational shift, implying that male desire or excess is the primary force eroding marriages, rather than examining how mutual expectations within marriage have changed.
It removes wives from any moral or relational responsibility.
It treats a marital problem as purely an individual (male) pathology.
It assumes, rather than proves, that porn desire is unrelated to marital deprivation.
It uses oversimplified, unrealistic scenarios to support its claims.
It reduces the issue to “novelty,” ignoring lack of intimacy and accessibility factors.
It (once again, like feminism has been doing for decades) pathologizes male desire while normalizing persistent refusal.
It ignores sexual asymmetry within marriage (who controls access: women).
It attacks a caricature of the opposing argument instead of its strongest form.
It relies on anecdotal authority (“friends in the industry”) instead of evidence.
It frames the problem to lead into a pre-packaged, commercial solution.
This will not help couples, and does not help advance the conversation. I suggest the author gets to know healthy males, and learns how to respect proper male sexuality, and how it has been villainized and attacked relentlessly through recent years.
And to keep things easy, let me tell you from first hand experience: if my wife is having regular sex with me, I don't even think about porn or other women. It never even remotely crosses my mind. A sexless marriage is not natural, and yes, it is the source of the disease.
The post begins with “there is an idea.” It's not trying to encapsulate the whole conversation about sexless marriages, it's trying to get granular about one specific idea within it, without alleging that its a central idea. Could Pat have been more clear about this? Probably. I wish he had been, too, but it is pretty clear already.
Frankly, porn addiction within marriage is one of the few subtopics where this framing is the only valid one.
It's astounding how few porn users take responsibility. They need their wife to be at fault.
If that's you, this article isn't for you.
It's for guys who want control over their desires
Nah, man.
You're the type of feminism-brained low-T male who calls healthy males "incel" when they point out women are at fault.
I'm not a porn user. Porn is for losers.
Sexless marriages are not healthy. They destroy men. Admit it.
No one said sexless marriages are okay. Wth are you mad about
I (and many like me) get immediately mad about anyone, any text, tweet, or policy that once again tries to point the finger at men.
Enough is enough.
Feminism was the cultural shift, and it completely broke women. They need fixing.
Men are still working hard, still building civilization, still building rockets to the moon. Men are flocking to church, and the stronger ones are fighting feminism head on, while still getting married and having children.
Porn is for losers. Just like proper nutrition is the best way to fight gluttony or junk food craving, the best way to quit porn is focusing that energy into a single woman's pussy, preferably your own wife. Yes, regular sex can solve a man's porn craving.
Your article sucks.
You should be discussing why the "Dead Bedrooms" phenomenon is so relevant these days, and why women think that having married no longer means having to fuck their husband regularly.
If that’s something you feel passionate about, feel free to write the article yourself.
Sure, give me login/password, I'll rewrite it.
The front of your essay says your wife can’t solve the porn craving with sex, and yet a few paragraphs in you say sex a real woman will increase your desire for her (as opposed to porn)
But the second statement seems to imply that more real sex would actually work? Since if sex focuses your desire for her…. Then you’re with her and not horny for porn?
More so it looks like you just believe a wife has a natural expectation for sex in marriage but a husband can’t have the same: so your argument just kind of bounces between the contradiction
The porn craving will continue despite the sex because the craving for porn is a different desire.
And no, I don't believe that last sentence
I was in a sexless marriage and not because I wanted to be in one. I wanted sex and my husband would pretend to be asleep. My husband had a huge collection of porn magazines he kept in boxes in the basement.
The only way my husband could get it up was to put a porn movie on and some of them were so vile, I felt disgusted. Eventually he raped me in our marriage bed. Some men would scoff that rape in marriage cannot happen, I say when your husband puts you in a position by force and defiles you it is rape. I ran out of my bedroom crying and then I left him.
I was in my thirties in the 1990's. Now I am 68 and I understand pornography so much better. I am a 1970's feminist and I made more money than him. I thought maybe that was the problem. I now know that it was the porn and that he did not find sex with me satisfying.
Thank you so much for writing this and let the men cry and blame women, that is what they do. Porn is destroying men and they live in denial.